Home 2017 – Puma
The Country
Ghana is renowned as one of Africa’s most peaceful, stable nations, and not without good reason. Since independence from Britain in 1957 the country has experienced precisely zero civil wars or genocides, endured not one single military dictator wearing sunglasses and an implausible quantity of medals and instead stands as a shining example of democracy, self-sufficiency and what can be achieved when you use your machetes and other sharp agricultural implements to actually do some farming. Speaking of which, the most important Ghanaian cash crop is undoubtedly the cocoa bean. In fact Cadburys imports around 90% of their cocoa from Ghana, meaning the country is responsible for such confectionery delights as creme eggs, Dairy Milk sharing bars and numerous other products all guaranteed to induce waddling in their consumers. Ironically, many of the cocoa farmers themselves have never even tasted chocolate thanks to its high price and the fact that Cadburys pays peanuts, or occasionally hazelnuts, nougat and bits of popping candy.
For those Ghanaians who can actually afford a gradual accumulation of type 2 diabetes, they’ll at least have ample opportunities to burn off the sugar rush in the capital Accra’s famously bouncing nightclubs. Indeed, Ghana’s nightlife is legendary throughout West Africa not least thanks to the prevalence of their acclaimed ‘Highlife’ music, a beguiling mix of traditional African beats and modern instruments performed by such key genre artists as King Bruce, Daddy Lumba and E.T. Mensah, all of whom sound vaguely like characters who hand out side missions in Grand Theft Auto. Even the grim realities of death are seemingly no impediment to the country’s vibrant, fun-loving nature. Every year thousands of departed locals are laid to rest inside what are known as ‘fantasy coffins’, expertly crafted custom caskets designed to represent the deceased’s profession, though this presumably reaches certain levels of pointlessness when the corpse being celebrated is that of the village undertaker.
The personalised final resting places for Ghana’s airline pilots, fishermen, cobblers and funeral directors.
Unsurprisingly, given the country’s English-speaking status and generally affable vibe, Ghana is cited by many travellers as an ideal introduction to Sub-Saharan Africa. Popular tourist activities often involve local wildlife, most notably the Paga Crocodile Ponds which feature toothy reptiles so tame that visitors are allowed to pet them and even sit on their backs, although Wikipedia’s assertion that the Ponds “rely on tourists to keep the animals fed and healthy” sounds far more sinister than was presumably intended. On a more human level, the Ashanti King of the gold-rich Kumasi region is often open to receiving outsiders just so long as they show due respect and bring a gift. No jewellery though. He’s good for jewellery, ta.
The National Team
As one of African football’s true heavyweights, it’s something of a travesty that the player who springs most prominently to mind when we think of Ghana is Uruguay’s Luis Suarez. This of course stems from the infamous 1-1 draw during the 2010 World Cup quarter-finals in which everybody’s favourite maverick tooth factory slapped away Dominic Adiyiah’s goal bound header in the dying seconds of extra time and then, post red card, celebrated wildly in the tunnel as Asamoah Gyan cracked the resulting penalty against the crossbar. That Ghana should proceed to choke in the subsequent shootout was perhaps inevitable as their dream of becoming Africa’s first ever World Cup semi-finalist crumbled to dust, though the fact they made it as far as the last eight – equalling the achievements of Cameroon (1990) and Senegal (2002) – is no small feat in itself.
In decades gone by Ghana’s ‘Black Stars’ were probably the only African national side who had never qualified for a World Cup (they only made their debut in 2006) and yet could still command the respect of the outside world. A surprise bronze medal at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics undoubtedly heightened their reputation as did the four African Cup of Nations titles they scooped up in 1963, 65, 78 and 82, even if a fifth has proved curiously elusive in the intervening 37 years. Part of the squad’s appeal can possibly also be traced to their star players of the time such as the former Leeds United striker Tony Yeboah, who briefly lit up the the 1995/96 Premier League season with a pair of ridiculous volleyed goals against Liverpool and Wimbledon (look them up), playground replicas of which seldom worked out too well, unless of course the aim was to provide everybody with gardens backing onto the school with an awful lot of free footballs.
Then there was Abedi Pele, whose man of the match performance for Marseille during their 1993 European Cup final triumph over Milan catapulted the midfielder – and by association his nation – to mainstream attention. Plus with a name like ‘Pele’ he was always going to strike a chord amongst young football fans, including my own early 90s school mates, even if my impromptu corrective geography lessons were not always appreciated by other 11 year olds. Typical conversation below.
Generic Classmate: “Have you heard? Marseille have got a player called Pele and he’s way rad*.” (*1990s, remember).
Me: “Yeah, they reckon he’s the best African player ever.”
Him: “What are you talking about? He’s Brazilian. Fat Lloyd told me in maths that he’s related to THE Pele.”
Me: “I wouldn’t have thought so seeing as he’s from Ghana. That’s not even in South America.”
James: “Yes it is.”
Me: “No, it’s in Africa. You’re thinking of Guyana.”
James: “There’s no such place.”
Me: Yes, there is. See. (points to map in atlas).
James: “Your atlas is stupid.”
Me: “Your face is stupid.”
Cue a prissy flailing scrap that in no way resembled Simon and Jay’s epic “fight” in the first Inbetweeners film.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HrxhsvxSjk
Great times.
The Shirt
Ghana is one of those countries for whom I’ve had a tough time pinning down a shirt I’m happy with. Thankfully, having already purchased and subsequently dispensed with the 2006 World Cup version due to the wafer-thin material feeling like, and quite possibly being paper, this smashing design became available in December 2016, just in time for me to put in my annual eye roll producing Christmas gift request to my girlfriend. Key to its appeal is the reinstatement of the black star from Ghana’s national flag – and from which the team derives their nickname – to a prominent position following a noticeably diminished role in many of Puma’s previous efforts (see below), where it was variously relegated to the shoulder (left), rendered practically invisible (middle) or usurped by an apparent need to let some five years old loose on the design as part of their arts and crafts homework (right).
Apart from this welcome re-addition, Puma have refrained from anything too deviant here. The amount of black on display is a bit more substantial than on previous garments however, most noticeably on the back where a cluster of smaller stars are partially obscured beneath a half-faded smudge, almost as if the designers changed their minds about including them at the last minute and tried to scribble them out with a permanent marker purchased from a pound shop. How bizarre.