Egypt

Home 2006 – Puma

The country

For those of us who grew up watching endless repeats of classic horror flicks on BBC Two, Egypt will forever be synonymous with creepy pyramids, Pharaoh’s curses and subsequent nightmares about being pursued by an ancient, shuffling cadaver, liberally draped in musty, foul-smelling material and baying for blood. come to think of it, I may be confusing this with my real life memories of toilet papering old Mr Gregory’s bungalow and my subsequent getaway. Anyhow the point is that to many people ancient Egyptian culture still represents the go-to image for the country, even if certain aspects have undoubtedly been cleaned up and/or romanticised for our sensitive modern palates. With this in mind, here’s few misconceptions I thought I’d clear up.

1. Far from being a strong imposing ruler, former Pharaoh and all round celebrated corpse Tutankhamun was in fact deceased by age 19, his body riddled with physical defects – most likely the result of his parents being brother and sister – and was buried alongside numerous walking sticks because the Egyptian afterlife, for all its promises of nectar, ambrosia and dusky maidens, apparently lacks a local branch of Age Concern.
2.  The mummification process didn’t just involve the emptying out of the nearest first aid box, but was an altogether more grisly affair that included, among other things, the removal of the brain, which would be reduced to mush and then drained out through the nose, an experience now gaining in popularity amongst the living thanks to the ready availability of celebrity magazines.
3. On the subject of death, funerary god Anubis was usually depicted as a man sporting a jackal’s head, not to scare grave robbers as is often assumed but as a means of dissuading scavenging animals from digging up mummified corpses and unwrapping them like Boxing Day turkey. Incidentally, some of the other deities said to guard the Egyptian underworld include Swallower of Shades, Stinking Face and Eater of Entrails, all of whom sound like the kind of clowns you might hire for your son’s birthday party when he gets terrible grades.
4. Finally, hieroglyphics are not an exclusively Egyptian writing style. In fact variations were found throughout the ancient world, though those specific to Egypt are arguably the most ornate, even if they do somewhat resemble a set of washing label instructions offering a timely reminder not to tumble dry the Sphinx.

Remember, always wash the pyramids separately.

Now that we’ve thoroughly dismantled the old, let’s get to work on the modern. Centuries as a proud trading nation has made today’s Egyptians a feisty bunch when it come to bargaining to the point where it’s genuinely difficult to tell whether the market stall holder is insulted by your offer or simply partaking of a particularly intense aneurysm. Indeed, if haggling were an Olympic sport Egypt would doubtless win gold, though they’d probably settle for silver if you made a counter offer of bronze.                    Food can be a hit and miss affair, with broad beans and chickpeas making their merry way into seemingly every meal, while the local tripe stew known as ‘Kersha’ is said to have a certain robustness that demands attention. Quite possibly medical attention. Population wise, Egypt is the largest nation in the Arab world with close to 100 million people, 99% of whom live on just 5% of the land, typically close to the lifeblood of the country, the river Nile. The capital Cairo meanwhile is a bustling, sweltering metropolis of 20 million liberally perspiring residents where temperatures can reach over 47 degrees, particularly punishing when the air con isn’t working properly, which is always.

In football terms, Egypt casts a huge historical shadow over the rest of Africa. The Egyptian F.A. is the continent’s oldest (founded in 1921), became the first to gain FIFA membership (1923), and in 1934 the national team made history as the first ever African representative at the World Cup, even though they only played one match at the finals – a 4-2 loss to Hungary – as the tournament in Italy had a straight knockout format. Then, in 1957, Egypt were one of just three participants at the inaugural African Cup of Nations in Sudan and ended up taking home the trophy, the first of a record seven continental titles for the ‘Pharaohs’, including an unprecedented three in a row between 2006 and 2010. Strange then that such regional dominance has been so noticeably offset by persistent absence on the world stage. Indeed, other than the afore-mentioned brief excursion across the Mediterranean 84 years ago, Egypt have managed just one other World Cup appearance in 1990 – coincidentally also in Italy – where they hugely impressed in a shock 1-1 draw against European champions the Netherlands, but failed to replicate this performance and a goalless draw with Ireland followed by a narrow 1-0 defeat against England saw them tumble out at the group stage.

Still, patience is a virtue. After 28 years in the World Cup wilderness the Egyptians are finally back for a third pop at the finals this summer in Russia, and given the kind nature of the draw – which will see them pitted against Uruguay, Saudi Arabia and a distinctly mediocre host nation – coupled with Mohammed Salah’s blistering form for Liverpool this season, there’s plenty of optimism that the team can at least register a first ever World Cup victory, with a place in the knockout rounds also looking a distinct possibility. Either way, at the age of just 25, good old flaming Mo probably has plenty of tournaments left in him yet, particularly in light of the extraordinary longevity of Egyptian international players from years past. Striker Hossam Hassan, for example, sits fifth in FIFA’s all time appearances list having collected a whopping 169 caps in a career spanning 21 years between 1985 and 2006, and he isn’t even the national record holder, that honour goes to his namesake Ahmed Hassan, who put in a frankly ludicrous 184* shifts for his country albeit over a shorter period from 1995 to 2012.

*Yes, Ahmed is the all time FIFA record holder, although Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon’s recent return to the international fold after his recent retirement puts him just eight caps shy of the Egyptian on 176.

The shirt

This Egypt shirt dates from 2006 when the country hosted and won the African Cup of Nations. As such, it’s a highly sought after retro design among their supporters, something that was brought home to me when a passionate (i.e. mad) Egyptian fellow e-mailed me to offer £250 for it having spotted a photo I’d uploaded to oldfootballshirts.co.uk. In fact he made the same offer twice, probably because I ignored his original overtures for eight months, although such a gap between random bursts of keen interest does support my theory that he was indeed a massive fruitcake.

The basic template is very straightforward but still easy on the eyes, however if you look closely you’ll notice a shadow image of the death mask from Tutankhamun’s sarcophagus woven into the material (especially clear in the lower left-hand photo at the top of this post), which is typical of Puma’s African shirts from the period, whereby they would try and incorporate national animals or symbols into the design.                  Meanwhile, the four stars above the badge represent the four AFCON trophies Egypt had won by this juncture, while the logo itself seems to depict a ball smashing through a glass window, which reminds me of yet another reason why old Mr Gregory used to hate my guts.