Home 1999-2001 – Marathon
The country
Sandwiched between Peru and Colombia on the west coast of South America, Ecuador may be small but they certainly don’t skimp on the geographical diversity. The country features tropical beaches in the west, dense Amazon rainforest to the east and the mighty Andes rising up in between where the capital Quito can be found at a lofty 2,850 metres above sea level, an elevation that often catches vacationing couples off-guard, as the symptoms of altitude sickness – headaches, drowsiness, extreme irritability – are identical to the symptoms of travelling with your other half in tow. Still, an acute lack of oxygen might prove to be the least of one’s worries when traversing the Ecuadorian highlands as the region boasts the highest concentration of active volcanoes on the planet. Many of these smouldering peaks are presently classified, somewhat ominously, as “restless”, and yet they still attract climbers and other extreme sports enthusiasts in their thousands, though this may simply represent natural selection working overtime to keep their numbers in check.
Speaking of evolutionary theory, good old Charlie Darwin is said to have concocted his famous hypothesis during an 1835 visit to Ecuador’s isolated Galapagos Islands, where the sight of numerous critically endangered species failing in their solemn duty to ‘do a little dance’, ‘make a little love’ or indeed ‘get down tonight’ was apparently enough for him to conclude that we all used to be monkeys. OK, I’m evidently not the best qualified individual to explain the intricacies of Darwinism, so here’s Mr Garrison to fill in the gaps.
There, all cleared up now? Good. Moving on. Today the islands and their wildlife are a major tourist draw, however there are strict rules regarding interaction, namely that people are not allowed to instigate physical contact and must wait for the inquisitive creatures to make the first move, which they frequently do, the furry little hussies. The most famous residents are of course the Galapagos Giant tortoises. Weighing up to 417 kg and capable of living at least 170 years in captivity, these behemoths are the real ‘heroes in a half-shell’, screw the Ninja Turtles. Though I suppose “Teenage Mutant Ninja Giant Galapagos Tortoises” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue as well, so the theme song would be a bit shit. Also, a combat technique consisting of retreating into one’s shell, falling asleep and waiting for the Shredder to die of old age would probably have rendered the cartoon unwatchable as well.
Back on the mainland, Ecuador’s commendable respect for nature was brought further into focus in 2008 when the country ruled that animals were “deserving of constitutional rights”, a courtesy evidently not extended to the humble guinea pig, which Ecuadorians famously like to wolf down by the bucket load for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or just any time they’re in the mood for something light, fluffy and adorable. Apparently they’re quite delicious, though not widely eaten outside the Andes region, probably because rustling up enough of the cute little critters for a family barbecue isn’t really feasible without arousing the suspicions of the sales clerks in Pets at Home.
Ecuador’s football history can broadly be divided into two time periods. Pre-millennium they were, quite frankly, a bit pants, perennially absent from the World Cup finals, and had posted just two top four finishes at the Copa America in 1959 and 1993, both times as hosts with all the oxygen sapping conditions that playing at altitude would have inflicted on visiting teams. Since the onset of the 21st century however, it’s been a very different story. In 2002 the national team surprisingly but emphatically blazed their way to a debut World Cup appearance – even managing to finish above future champions Brazil in qualifying – and, despite exiting at the group stage, gave a decent enough account of themselves, including an historic first ever finals win against Croatia. Four years later at Germany 2006, Ecuador created an even bigger splash. Despite being dismissed by many European pundits as South American altitude specialists who would crumble closer to sea level, the Ecuadorians blew those assumptions away with impressive victories over both Poland and Costa Rica to set up a last 16 tie against England in Stuttgart. Ultimately, a trademark David Beckham free kick proved the difference between the two sides, although things could have been very different had Carlos Tenorio’s effort not cannoned off Paul Robinson’s crossbar when the score was poised at 0-0. Margins.
Key amongst this Ecuadorian golden generation was prolific forward Agustin Delgado, who netted an impressive 31 goals in 71 appearances for ‘El Tri’, but whose name, for fans of Southampton FC, prompts markedly less enthusiastic reactions. In 2001 Delgado completed a glamour move to Gordon Strachan’s Saints (there’s a sentence that hasn’t aged well) but never really settled, repeatedly went AWOL, refused to learn English and alienated his manager to the point where the spiky Scot memorably decided to promote a chilled dessert above the wayward striker on his list of priorities. Quote below.
“I will produce files to show everyone when he was missing but right now I have more important things to worry about – like eating a yoghurt! “I have a yoghurt here which has its expiry date today – and if I start talking about Delgado I won’t get it eaten in time!
On a sadder note all round, Ecuador’s third and most recent World Cup trip ended in an early exit from Brazil 2014 but, coming less than a year after the tragic death of national team striker Christian Benitez in July 2013 following a heart attack, you can probably forgive the squad if their sense of mourning hadn’t quite abated by this point.
The shirt
Ecuador, it seems, always have excellent shirts. Even by these laudable standards however, this one’s a bit of a beast. Seemingly, the team also found the garment to be quite agreeable as it was worn at two Copa America tournaments in 1999 and 2001, as well as during the successful qualification campaign for the 2002 World Cup, including a first ever victory over Brazil in March 2001. Clearly this is a special piece of kit, capable of transforming mere mortals and those subordinate to a Muller fruit corner into world beaters, a theory I’ll perhaps test personally next time the local five a side league rolls around.*
*The missing skin from my knees, and indeed the fact that I am frequently able to trap the ball further than most people can kick it would indicate that this theory is, at best, inconclusive.
Of course, that’s to say nothing of the actual, deliciously garish design, that looks as though Marathon Sports – a local supplier who have been making the national team’s kit since 1994 – held a ‘bring your child to work day’ and proceeded to let the little tykes loose on the blank canvas board armed with a new pack of felt tip pens and an imagination unrestrained by frankly fascist concepts such as style, taste, restraint and not being ripped to the tits on E numbers. Also, amidst the explosion of colour, it’s curious to note the shirt’s more subtle touches. For example, the Marathon logo appears as a shadow pattern within the material, but for some reason half of them are upside down(see left photo below) while the piping down the sleeves (right picture) brings to mind an alternate universe where Microsoft Windows was created for the Commodore 64.
